If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

April 12, 2018

 

I haven’t written a personal blog post for a long while, but for some reason, I just wanted to share a little bit more about what’s being going on over the past few months. It’s nothing drastic or crazy, to be honest, it’s just life, and living life and trying to build a business while studying full time, and trying to earn money. I’m nothing special in that regard and I’m also very aware of how lucky I am to be in such a supportive situation. So this isn’t me complaining about my life, this is just an update on what’s been happening!

 

So I’m not going to lie the past few months have been really tough. Coming back from the Appalachian Trail, I didn’t really get much chance for a break or for rest, before I was starting back at uni in the October. Which was a completely different challenge! 

 

I’d gone from destroying my body and pushing it to its limits, to now testing my mind. I know which one I felt more confident doing and it wasn’t the study. There was an adjustment period needed, to getting back into education and not feeling like a total imposter, every time I made a point or gave my opinion! But this is what challenging yourself is all about. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. 

 

I think the Appalachian Trail took it more out of me than I realised. I thought I would be able to get back to my normal self pretty quickly. It wasn’t the case at all, I was so weak and so tired, my body and mind just needed to rest.

 

I was also dealing with massive sugar cravings, from my horrendous diet on the trial. It really was an adjustment. I though it would be easy to get back into working like I normally do, and get back to going to the gym and get healthy again. It’s taken me so long. Much longer than I would care to admit.

 

October and November, I was still eating everything insight, and it was fine, because I was hungry and I needed it, I had to put back on two stone - which I did - and I thought I’d be able to stop but I wan’t able to. It’s only now in April, where I’ve really started to get my diet and fitness back on track.

 

It is still not where, I want it to be. But my routines are better and I am starting to make the right choices again. I have also finished my second term of uni! Three essays to hand it at the start of the summer term, write my dissertation (only 20,000 words) and then I’m done! 

 

One of the things I’ve massively struggled with all throughout building up tough girl challenges, is having balance in my life and I just don’t have it. I start to feel balanced and then boom, I’m going hell for leather after something else.

 

In 2017, at the start of the year it was all about pre loading content, for while I was away which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Then it was walking big miles every day for a hundred days. It was then straight into uni work.

 

I know over the past few months, I’ve let things slide, gym time, the tribe, FB, social media, friends, relationships. Not being able to be there for people. I just haven’t had the capacity. I know you can argue, that you can always make time for your priorities, but in this case, I did feel as though I was choosing between a rock and a hard place. I was having to say yes to certain things and certain people and no to others. Many understood, others didn’t and that’s ok.

 

I don’t know if I’ve been making the right decisions over the past few months or not. I can only hope I have and that it will all be worth it in the end. 

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